Monday, July 6, 2009

We are all Palmists..

Yes, this is true. We all are. We just need to explore this hidden talent of ours. I can give an easy way out for this, but that can be applied only on the female gender. Read on,

Just take the girl’s hand in yours(assuming she doesn't give you a tight slap across your face in front of 50 odd people, else just hold 2 fingers, although personal experience says she still will give you one, but anyways), and tell her this:

"You know, you're a very emotional person. Very kind-hearted. You are also very sensitive. But then, you are also very strong at the same time, this depends on when you want/chose to be strong. Your friends love you dearly and you can go to any extent to help people. You’re very talented and intelligent, just chose the right direction and the world is yours.
But you know there is something Unique , you're a very deep person. It's not very easy to understand you.
(and then comes the master of all)
NO ONE KNOWS THE REAL 'YOU' ".

I swear, any girl would fall for this. Okay let's just say most girls would fall for this. And this will never backfire. I'll tell you why,

1. Emotional: See, 95% girls are emotional, they'll see a rainbow and they'll cry at it's beauty, they'll see a B-grade Bollywood movie and cry at the cheesiest dialogues that the hero says ever-so-convincingly(though, not one of them will be true). So, that is sorted.

2.Sensitive: Somehow, girls just love to hear, "oh, you're so sensitive". Even if it comes from a total stranger. In fact better if it comes from a stranger. I don't know why, but it kinda boost's their confidence. Confidence about what, this only god knows.

3. Kind-hearted.. Oh, come on.. that everyone is. The heart is essentially the soft target and it can easily melt seeing/sensing random, irrelevant stuff (BTW, melt sound just soo cheesy.. eeks!)

4. Strong: See, a girl would never like to hear that she is only sensitive and nothing beyond. Saying this would mean you're taking her sensitivity for granted, and that no one appreciates. So just tell her that she CAN be strong. Don't worry, the fact is, anyone can be that.

5. Friends love you dearly: Duh! Which is why they are FRIENDS.

6. You can go to any extent to help people: Just shows how great a human she is. The fact is, anyone can go to any lengths provided one really feels the need to help/or feels for the cause.

7. Deep : this whole deep person thing is great fun. Makes the girl feel that she isn't that accessible after all. The other person will have to out up a fight to know her. And girls love special efforts. Even if they mean nothing in reference to context ;P.

8. Chose the right direction and you will go places: Come on, does that not apply to one and all??

9. No one knows the REAL you. This kinda touches the chord which is usually preserved for special people. Everyone has certain aspects/secrets/traits that they either seldom showcase or don't showcase them at all. It is these traits that we want the world to know and ask about. Although the void disturbs us, but beyond a point we usually enjoy it. And bang! When someone acknowledges it's existence. That is it. You've hit the nail on the head. You're her next best friend. She will immediately start behaving so coy, and will curl in her own self… Uggghhh! Mission accomplished!(If the mission is anything, apart from passing time; refer to my warning-ONE TIGHT SLAP.

So, you see, it's very easy actually. Just be intelligent enough to choose the right girl. Someone who cannot see through all this. But don't worry, there are VERY few girls who actually will. So, it is actually a win-win situation. This can in fact apply to men also, but then not many men are into all this. They'd rather do some other interesting stuff.

@To whom so ever it may concern,
This does not apply to smart women/girls. So to any girl who thinks she shall not fall for this, please feel free to count yourself in the “SMART” category. As for what the fact is, well, we shall keep that debatable. It always is :P

PS: I am sure more than 80% readers already know this. Good for you. I am posting this for my children. Tomorrow if I die, then there should be something to guide them about the 'deep realitites' of life :D

30 comments:

Arnab Majumdar said...

Interesting post that... :D

Cheers...

Jagjit said...

Lol. Very funny and very true.

I don't know nothing about palmistry but as I read this post, I can tell that you think a lot different than other girls. And, you kinda seem to understand human mind so well, but you don't show off a lot. :) ugh.. u are smart enough to read into it, too! woooo!

(¯`•._.•[Raaji]•._.•´¯) said...

haha funny.

I, for one, takes offense if someone would call me "sensitive"

:-)

muthu said...

hmhm--

So have U tried this or

Is it jus theory-- :D

Anandit _ Andy said...

I must say, you are intelligent.
You say beyond this. :D

Netika Lumb said...

@ Arnab,
Thanks :)
I was certain all men would find it *interesting* ;P

@ Jagjit,
hmm..now I am wondering if this is just another way to keep a girl happy..
Either ways, you're right , absolutely right :)

@Raaji,
Oh.. same here.. I kinda get bored with people who talk about sensitivity.Guess that speaks sufficient about me and insensitivity :D

Netika Lumb said...

@ Muthu,
Well, I don't need to try this. I mean, why bore myself so much :P
And people anyway can't try this on me. I'd like to think I am smart enough and voilent enough(to get up and slap hard) :P

@Andy,
thank you, thank you :)
Beyond this, umm...I think I am emotional, sensitive, kind hearted, strong and most of all DEEEEEEEP ;) :P :D
(refer to post :))

Elithraniel Arawion said...

ROTFL... best palmist ever :P that thing wud work 99% of the time except wit women who can see thru crap.. hahaha

bondgal_rulz said...

HILARIOUS post!!! I have seen guys doing this all the time!!! some of whom are/were my best friends!! Lol.

LOVED the P.S. :D

And Yayiee!!! I belong to the smart category!! For once!! he he

Cheers

Netika Lumb said...

@Elithraneil,
Totally second that :)

@Isha di,
I don't know if I have such friends.. No hang on, I know someone who is better than me in all this.. You know been there done that :P

And yes, ofcourse we belong to the "smartest" category ;)

Sameera said...

LOL!!! :)

I am in SMART category or not- lets not debate it here :P

Hopeless Romantic said...

well, generalising all these qualities with all the girls may not be the right things, but still ur opinion is respectful...nice informative list..i liked the second point :)

cheers!
amit

Netika Lumb said...

@Sameera,
oh! You are. You are very similar to me and I clearly belong to te "smart" category; so I deduce that so do you :)

@Amit,
Not at all! I am not generalising all girls into this category, or any category for that matter. I mentioned that this is the case with the majority.
Informative list?? that means you didn't know about this. And I sooo expected atleast "you" to know of this. Chalo, hope this was of help. :)Though, I don't know if Australian girls will(not ) fall for this :P

Adisha said...

LOLzzz. well said babes... You are absolutely right. I've had such weird comments made to me and friends and I till now remember girls going wow !! and really ??? how do u know this ?? etc etc and I used to wonder, how it is that they can't see through the BS :))

Saurabh said...

awesome analysis ;)

"Confidence about what, this only god knows." - ha ha, this was cool!

anyway, let's not promote works like this, or else we won't have girlfriends anymore ;)

Arslan said...

Loved the analysis. Now to find someone to try it on.. :)

Netika Lumb said...

@ Saurabh,
Thanks :)
Oh.. Don't worry. Trust me, this will only help you in your pursuits ;)
Unless you want someone from the 'smart'category(if any ;))

@Arslan,
See, saying all the best would mean a sheer slap on the face of 90% of the women fraternity. And not saying would mean a useless post.
Guess I'll leave it you to take the call :)

CRD said...

hehe!! Damn funny ! [:P]

Damn, u shudve posted this a decade ago mebbe. I'm sure a lot of gals wudve given me their hands...I dont think theyre gonna do it today..i look damn bad now [:P]


About a dozen gals in my MBA institute do it. They all claim to know a bit abt palmistry (theyre very careful to specify "a bit" in their conditions apply clause), and these are exactly the points they make. For a while I thought u were talkin abt me [:P]

And yet there are some who make analytical statements with such confidence...nevermind that theyre completely wrong


Cheers
CRD

P.s-updated blog 2 times in June and once in July.

Aw.S.M said...

Wow i didnt know u POST on ur blog..i thought it was on this redunandant spaces where people come to read your PAST work :P..

Anyways..tu itni cynical kyun hain??!!
I m guessing u got bluffed out of 25rs by a palmist and demanded ur money back and didnt get it!! well?!! hain na??

luv
amith

Netika Lumb said...

@ CRD,
Oh.. I wish I knew about blogging a decade ago, I would've been of some help.. But then, now that of warned you; BEWARE :P

Yar, don't get time to read blogs at all.. Will try to visit your blog soon .:)

@ Amit,
Oh.. You mean my medieval period creations.. Usually, the oldies from those times come here to relate to my posts..
Now, come on, I ain't as talented and contemporary in my approach/writing as you, so I don't post at all. My bad, you see .:P

Cynical aur main????? Kya yar, this is disheartening..I thought my posts clearly convey to the *smart* reader, that I am *smart/intelligent/wise* enough not to be bluffed like this.. And you really think I'd pay 25 bucks for this.. Really, when I do,I do handsome charity, not paltry amounts like this.:)Sadly, I seldom do charity anyway :(

Kartz said...

Interesting... :D

So... slapped anyone? ;)

Peace.

Qi said...

Hahaha!!! I must confess, I HAVE fallen for some of this crap. I've slapped too toh sahi hai ;)

Netika Lumb said...

@ Karthik,
Oh.. many! :P
But few have the audacity to do this with me. I still think I am smart, and well, a little voilent, too :D

@Qi,
Oh..sahi hai.. Welcome to the "one-tight-slap-across-your-face-when-the-need-be" club:P
We rock! and literally at that ;)

Siddy said...

oye hoye... the girl thinks she has actually decoded the male approach to 'short-cuts to becoming a girl's best friend'

But she made a dangerous assumption - that the 'smart girl with the tight slap' wont get her equivalent counterpart in this game..

Chalo koi ni.. let them all be confident that they are on top of things.. makes things much more easier :)

Netika Lumb said...

@Siddy
oh..not at all. If only male mind was that easy to comprehend. Not that I have to try hard ;P

See, if the counterpart is the counterpart in the true sense of the word, then he would not need to use such an approach, and if he does use it, then he anyway isn't.Simple :)
*Netika thinks kya mast funda dia hai and then claps for herself :)*

No no..not all are confident. Kaha na, only the 'smart' ones are. If everyone could see through, then who would the men apply this on??Majority of the fairer sex contributes to the happiness of the male fraternity :P

Siddy said...

.... exactly how men would want women to think :)

Netika Lumb said...

@Siddy,
Why else do you think I said this?

sawan said...

lol.. i luvd this post!! :)

BrownPhantom said...

Yes, this works :).
A few more line :
"You are very trusting and that leads to hurt."
"You are a perfectionist"
"You ignore other's mistakes, but are too harsh on yourself".
This was fun reading :)

Netika Lumb said...

@ Sawan,
:)

@ Brown Phantom ,
:)